Click. Read. Love. 12.20.24

On the importance of getting offline, things to do over the holidays that don't involve your phone, and my last newsletter of 2024...plus ALL the best links from the week

Something to expect in 2025, sharing some of what I actually wear on a day to day basis. Right now, many, many layers.

I went back and forth about whether or not this would be my last newsletter of 2024. But after two migraines flattened me within the last week, I think it’s time to listen to my body and just, sign off for a bit.

I’m at that point where almost everyone is pissing me off (it’s a me problem, mostly) and I’m ready to put do not disturb on my phone indefinitely. I used to really struggle with being offline for any extended period of time. On an essay from earlier this week, someone commented that they try to have limits on their social media time, but fear missing out on things they’ve convinced themselves are “life changing.”

I can empathize. I remember the first time I deleted Instagram. I lost track of how many times I picked up my phone to check the app, and I was mortified just how mindless the behavior had become. But it’s important to point out that this is not a personal failure, as Cal Newport writes in his book Digital Minimalism:

these technologies are in many cases specifically designed to trigger this addictive behavior. Compulsive use, in this context, is not the result of a character flaw, but instead the realization of a massively profitable business plan.

I had the benefit of being born at a time when social media wasn’t a thing. I didn’t have Instagram until I was 28. In high school and college I had a flip phone. Point being, I remember the before times, and I know that we don’t have to live like this. Over time I recognized that not only does logging off reset my brain, it also makes space for so much more.

We’ve romanticized solitude and cancelling plans as a form of self-care (and I’m an introvert I get it), but there’s a difference between choosing alone time and being lonely. It’s hard not to see the loneliness epidemic as a crisis exacerbated by the relationship we have with our phones. We need connection on a biological and physical level. The nuance of in person connection- the sound and tone of someone’s voice, eye contact, the tiny little social cues, movements and gestures, the awkwardness, the silliness, the spontaneity, the smell of a person, the ambiance of a shared space- these are all things that can’t be replicated through a phone.

When I say going offline makes space for so much more, what I mean is that it’s a reminder of the reasons why life is worth living. If you’re chronically online the way I was for a decade, maybe you’re worried about all the things you’ll miss out on if you log off for a while. But I’d encourage you to consider what might you lose out on if you don’t? There’s no wrong time to go for a walk, read a book, bake something delicious, or finally schedule that coffee date you and your friend have been talking about forever.

Sending good luck and solidarity to every parent with no school or childcare for the next two weeks.

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I am very excited for all that 2025 will bring to A Common Thread readers, and especially eager to navigate a buy nothing new year with many of you. My prices are going up next year to $7/month or $65/annually. My annual subscription price of $50/year is still available until the end of 2024. Now on to the links!

In this week’s edition of Click. Read. Love.

• For women, embracing desire is a radical act

• Why we should rethink buying sequins this season

• Things to do over the holidays that don’t involve your phone

• The sameness of today’s beauty standards

• And so much more (it’s a long one this week!)…