46 Comments

Love this, Jess. Had two thoughts:

One — it will be interesting if in buying significantly less, the financial stress is less painful than you're anticipating. Like, if consumption is so greatly reduced in so many aspects of your life that the amount saved takes a surprising chunk out of the "lost" income. (After all, I imagine that once you are mindful about where your resources are allocated, it's going to snowball and you'll end up applying the same type of thinking to spend categories you haven't even listed. In that vein, out of sheer curiosity because I know we both enjoy it — how are you going to approach beauty products?) No need to share the numbers with us, of course! But I have found that when I went on spending moratoriums, the money saved (and sitting in my bank account) always seemed to look/feel different than simply doing the math on how much I'd save in my head...in a (net) positive way.

Second — it's interesting to explore the relationship between mindlessness and overconsumption. Which is to say, I think the same things that are driving us both crazy about social media (the lack of presence required, the mental trap, the numbing effects) are the same things leading so many to mindlessly shop. Like many of the comments echo, we end up with all this stuff and there's a "What was I even thinking?" moment as we're unpackaging our purchases. Exactly: I suspect we WEREN'T thinking, because online shopping — and all the channels in which we do it — are specifically designed to trap us, or at the very least, tip us into mindlessness. Sometimes I wonder about the true long term impacts that phones (and the modern Internet at large) have had on our brains and their ability to feel stimulated. Or, perhaps there's a more existential question behind all this: why is it so hard to stay present in our own minds anymore? What are we escaping from?

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Spot on Victoria. The first part yes, in just a few days I've noticed how much I buy and spend needlessly not just on clothes, but (waves hands around) lots of stuff. This will be an incredibly eye opening exercise for me. And quite frankly, the need to cut back on buying is out of necessity for a variety of reasons, not least of which is changing my business model.

As is relates to beauty, I've thought a lot about this too, and I was hesitant to put limits on that (I guess because I thought I could use it as my crutch). But the more I think about it the more I realize how it's all very intertwined. I have for the most part removed myself from all lists so I don't receive boxes of beauty products anymore, but I have the ability to request products if I want to, so I am mindful of that habit.

And to your second point, YES. That is its own essay. Much to consider there.

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So as much as I love it and am often tempted by new skincare products, I've been trying to pare down a lot in the last year or so. I realized I would get lured into the promise of more/better/ultimate, when the reality was, I was happy with the (overflowing countertop full of) products I already had on hand. Kind of like buying a new dress comes with a (perceived) promise of making us feel a certain way, so too did buying skincare needlessly. "This will make you look and feel better." But at a certain point, it's only diminishing returns, literally! If my skin already looks good, what is it that I'm trying to improve exactly?

Which is probably related to the second point. Do I seek out the products to fill space and time? For fear that I'm missing out on something? For fear of getting left behind? For fear of the future? (Maybe we should co-write an essay. Hit me up! :) )

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I have thought about this a lot, why do I endlessly feel the need to keep trying new products? Nothing has changed my skin so drastically...in fact, I dramatically pared down my skincare routine which has saved me so much time (and money), and spoiler alert: my skin is fine! I do think getting off of social media has helped me realize how much I was influenced to stay on the never ending hamster wheel of beauty product testing....many thoughts. Co-essay, love it...I'll be in touch xx

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This was exactly what I needed to read today, and I’m so excited to follow your journey. I am highly aware of how much I consume and how much of that is influenced by others. It’s a dopamine rush! But I’m starting small and just trying to get through January.

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Love the idea of starting with a smaller goal. A year seems so long to me too but maybe I can do a month and see how it feels!

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Just made a rule not to buy anything in January besides mandatories like food so this post really resonates. Let’s see where it takes me!

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This couldn’t have come at a better time. I made a pledge to myself that I would not buy anything new that was not a replacement of something I have used up (skincare, hair products, etc.) we donated so many items this year that we don’t need or use. It was eye opening. Looking forward to following along!

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Jess - love this so much! I tried to do six months of buying nothing new a fee years back and failed miserably. I love that you’re posing this challenge to subscribers. It’s helpful to have a community! I’ll definitely be joining in regards to clothes - no new clothes for the next year for me.

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Jan 1Liked by Jess Kirby

This is one of the most compelling things I’ve read all year. Tempted to join you!

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Jan 1Liked by Jess Kirby

Love this and can’t wait to be inspired by how you demonstrate you make it work through the year!

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Jan 2Liked by Jess Kirby

i love this idea. i would love to do this but struggle- after three babies in 4 years, all with severe hyperemesis- i lost 30lbs each pregnancy but then gained it all back and more postpartum, and then losing weight again (not intentionally, just trying to live a healthier lifestyle) would love to hear thoughts on how to navigate this when my body has changed so much and a lot of clothes pre pregnancy no longer fit, but postpartum clothes aren’t fitting either. i just don’t know how to navigate this time!!! i want to slow my consumption but i also need to wear clothes... i am all over the place with size ranges in my closet and then my body has just been in constant flux. i have so many beautiful things from pre pregnancy but they don’t fit. but it also seems so wasteful to replace them when im hopeful i’ll fit into them in the coming years. so what do i do in the interim?

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That's really hard Kelly, and we are certainly in different phases of life, so this might not be what makes sense for you right now. Honestly, it took about two years post baby for me to feel "normal" in my body again. And while I wasn't the same size as I was pre-baby, it felt like my body was probably going to stay the way it was, for a while anyway. That was when I finally felt like I could buy clothes again. In the meantime, I flailed a bit to be honest, and I think my advice would be to find maybe a few things you really love and that can be your core wardrobe. If you're worried about consumption, second hand is a great option too.

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Maybe we could have weekly check-ins in the Substack chat?

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Jan 1Liked by Jess Kirby

Jess , I just read this and I have followed you for years, so you know me. I have related to your home and your style, your clothes , your great relationship and your animals that you and I lost too . I follow Grace too and love her as well, but lived a life more similar to yours long ago. Here’s my take and my truth to what you posted. I’m sitting here with your Able sweater on. ( I have 3) I should not be buying anything more. . I have clothes in my closet that you recommended and clothes Grace recommended as well with tags still on them . I seemed to always want and have and need more . I looked for a duplicate of the Liz sweater last night in Green even considering an x small when I have a S.

I need to stop. I don’t need these things . I’m not even going out much now.

This is my honest situation:

I’m living in a cute Villa in Florida . I want to be in Vermont and now I cannot.

My beautiful and bright son Died 5 years ago now in May . It took a piece of my heart.

He didn’t have to die. Alcohol sadly. I never knew.. My daughter came to live with me after having a Breast Biopsy a few months ago and she is now third stage Metastatic Breast cancer and is not treating it at the Cleveland Clinic here. They are wonderful there and caring. . She’s also Bipolar. My handsome sweet husband doesn’t know me any longer from a messed up pacemaker surgery and dementia accelerated . I’m trying to keep him in a nice memory care Center and also keep my home . He’s a Doctor.

I don’t need to buy a dress, jeans, sweater, or book or any more handbags. I fell in love with the Backpack from Brahmin you wore called the Gloria East coast and never found it. . If you can do this, I really need to do this as well . Life can change in a year . People you know the best can become strangers. Strangers can become your best supportive friends . I was trying to lose weight. I stressed down 20 lbs. which is not a great look for me . Trying hard to care for me first this year. Thank you so much for writing this article. I will pledge as soon as I can afford to do it. . Happy New Year Jess. xo

Lynn

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Take care of yourself Lynn. Thinking of you. xx

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Thank you Jess. You have always been so kind to me. Now I have a real challenge in front of me. My beautiful Goddaughter lives in Amherst and she follows you faithfully and I sent her your Substack today. She loves all of your clothes . She’s quite a bit like you and about your age. She has 2 close in age toddlers planned in vitro when her sweet husband had a grown child and was done having any kids . It makes me happy because he’s a great Dad. They are a beautiful couple . Anyway I really don’t even remember what I wrote because I can’t see it but my daughter is in the hospital now because she swallowed a lot of pills on purpose and now I’m just trying to take care of myself without buying anything at all for a fix.

Sending love and hugs

Lynn

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I am really curious to follow along and see how this goes! I've wrestled too with the 'ick' feeling I've gotten from past overconsumption. We moved halfway around the world in July and the amount of stuff we took to goodwill before our big move was sobering. So I pledged not to buy any clothes through the end of the year and then only buy what I actually needed to fill a specific gap in my wardrobe. I've identified a trench coat and couple of long sleeve tees as 'needs', and hopeful that if I buy those I won't create a slippery slope back into buying all the things that I just want but don't really need. Of course I bought plenty of other stuff over the last few months since we moved into an unfurnished apartment, but now that that's set up I am trying to really rein in the consumerism. Having a small space and living somewhere with less of an online shopping culture definitely helps.

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I think the online shopping culture plays a big part! I'd be so curious to know what that looks like in other places besides the US.

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Jan 1Liked by Jess Kirby

I toyed with this same goal for this coming year, however, I will likely allow myself maybe a few used purchases. When I saw your post come through, it helped me solidify my plan, so thank you! And best of luck!

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Jan 6Liked by Jess Kirby

May I make a suggestion; go to your local library (as opposed to buying) and check out "Not buying it. My year without shopping." By Judith Levine. I have read that book many times and love it. It is a thought provoking, eye opening, look at American consumerism, how it affects us mentally, its environmental impacts, ect. She is very candid about her experience and how it affected her and her partner. Times it is funny, times it makes you really think about some hard truths, but it is very helpful. As a side note she spends half of the year in Vermont and she speaks about how that helped her with cutting back her consumerism.

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Can’t wait to read your reflections through this experience! I recently sold almost everything my family owned to move to Portugal. It was eye-opening to say the least. There was SO much we didn’t need and it was quite frankly embarrassing how much we accumulated. Since getting here I’ve been so mindful about not only what I buy, but how I buy it. Definitely hasn’t been perfect, but I’m working at it.

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I do find it really interesting how we are influencer culturally to consume (and particularly how much the US is driven by consumerism). It took my move to Vermont to completely shift my mindset and give me an entirely new perspective on it. Congrats on the move to Portugal that sounds really exciting.

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Wonderful! I’ve also committed to something similar, Tiffany Drake’s rule of 5. I will only buy 5 new fashion items this year. The influencer economy is based on over consumption, it’s not sustainable, hopefully more influencer and followers will commit to buying less.

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I am so excited about multiple public figures committing to buying less! As you said, even if you influence 5% of your readers to buy less, it makes a difference. Thank you for this, I plan to take some notes from your journey and do less buying myself.

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