Cozy Moments are Having a Moment

And the vibes are off

I rarely go on Instagram anymore. I use it exclusively to share links to this newsletter or new blog posts. I also unfollowed every account, so I don’t have anything showing up in my feed, sort of. Instagram does not like if you don’t follow any accounts, so they make it their mission to suggest who you should follow. It’s quite frankly hilarious what the algorithm suggests to me, which I can assure you, is absolutely nothing I want to see.

Lately there’s a certain type of content Instagram keeps pushing on me, and they all have one thing in common, they’re “moments.” I assume it’s because this content is currently popular on the platform, and there’s a trending audio with a British woman saying how great it is to stay home instead of going out (I’m aging myself here I’m sure it’s a famous person but I couldn’t find the original clip).

These moments are all in the form of Reels, most no longer than 15 seconds, surely the secret sauce for the algorithm, and because a recent study found that the average attention span is a whopping 8 seconds.

What is a moment you might ask? A moment is a vibe. It’s a 10-15 second video of extremely short clips showing you what a “slow Sunday” or “cozy moments at home” looks like.

The colors are neutral, the coffee/tea is steaming, and the house is spotless. Interestingly, all the videos I saw, though seemingly very similar, were from all over the world, from England to Austin, Texas. One of the keys to success on Instagram is sameness.

I’ve made my own version of these Reels for my Instagram account in the past and I can assure you, the only thing these moments have in common is that they’re all manufactured. And when you watch these videos and you know how the sausage is made it just makes you sad.

The thing is, to create “moments” for Instagram takes a lot of work. Each clip needs to be set-up with the perfect Instagram worthy menagerie of random shit including but not limited to fruit, candles, books, soft knits, big blankets, throw pillows (link in bio!), pretty food, tea/coffee (steaming of course), etc. There might be a person in the clips, usually one or two, and each clip would surely involve multiple takes to get the angles and the lighting right. Then you have to edit and arrange those clips, find music (it better be trending audio), add catchy text to the frames, figure out a caption and then type out 14,000 hashtags to ensure those moments are in fact seen.

The comments on the videos were all fairly similar, “goals!” “so beautiful,” “what a dreamy life.” The clips may have been beautiful, but the moments were staged. Whatever was happening; reading, watching a show, cuddling with a dog, showering, laying in bed, drinking tea, those moments were all interrupted so they could be captured on film.

I wonder how many people watching these videos know just how much work and effort went into making the moment look cozy. A cozy moment is not something you can buy if you just have the right paint colors and coffee mugs, or create with the right aesthetic.

I can assure you from personal experience, finding a moment of peace, having a cozy morning, does not happen when you’re filming it for an audience. Those moments are not found scrolling through social media. When you do find that moment, savor it, keep it for yourself. It will make your life better. I promise.

A few ways to have an actual moment of peace or coziness:

• Put away your phone and drink your coffee on the couch (doesn’t matter if there’s crumbs, dog hair, toys on the floor)

• Go for a walk, without your phone

• Cuddle on the couch and watch a movie with someone you love (put your phone in another room)

• Sit somewhere comfy, close your eyes, take some deep breaths, see if you can let your mind wander

• Listen to music

• Embrace simply joys like the gift of being present, listening, laughing, crying, writing a letter to someone, chatting with a friend, doing something silly, or whatever it is that helps you feel grateful to be alive

Please share the ways you find a moment of peace or coziness. I’d love to know.