Childless Cat Lady Knitwear Round-Up

This is the most fun I've had on the internet in a while

A cat lady shrine someone set up on the covered bridge in our town.

At the risk of sounding like the world’s biggest curmudgeon, I’m going to go ahead and admit I am not a huge fan of Halloween. For one, I don’t like candy (sorry give me some ice cream or a charcuterie plate). But also, I get very annoyed with American “Hallmark holidays.” You know what I’m talking about, the holidays where we go balls to the wall capitalism on it. Halloween is definitely high on that list. To put it in numbers, Americans spent $12 billion on Halloween last year.

That said, I have a toddler who happens to really love dressing in costume. We also live in a town that takes Halloween very seriously. Streets are closed down, theres hundreds of kids in the street, the town donates candy to houses along the route, it’s a whole thing. Some houses have literal themes, and honestly, it’s impressive. Thank god we don’t live in that part of town because I just don’t have that in me.

Last night on a FaceTime call with my mom, she asked Marin what she was going to be for Halloween. She said she hadn’t decided yet, but was thinking about being a cat (a bit surprising for my princess/mermaid/unicorn obsessed toddler), when my mom said, “Jess you should be a childless cat lady.” I was absolutely dismayed that this low hanging fruit somehow eluded me. I looked at Marin and said, what if you and mommy did a costume together (trying to hide my desperation)?! To which she replied without skipping a beat, “You could be my owner!” I’ve never been more proud.

Sure the cat lady thing won’t be the most original one this Halloween, but for the first time in over 20 years, yours truly is getting into costume. I’m still working on convincing Craig to dress up as a ball of yarn, one thing at a time.

As soon as I decided this was my fate, I immediately started searching the internet (as did Craig, so clearly he’s kind of into it). I don’t remember the last time I had this much fun online. My criteria for the costume was: something I could/would wear again, has to be second-hand or vintage, can’t be over $40. Luckily my toddler has some cat stuffies, and I’ll be crowdsourcing from our local buy nothing group. But my search took me down a rabbit hole of cat themed clothing I never knew existed.

There was just too much to keep to myself, so without further ado, here’s some of the best cat knitwear, sweatshirts, and other cat themed Halloween gold that would make the perfect addition to any childless cat lady costume¹, or wardrobe if cats are your thing.

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This is technically not second-hand but for the minimalist, this embroidered Etsy sweatshirt is customizable (save 10% w/ code CART10).

The hand embroidery, the buttons, the color, it’s too good. And it’s cotton so not itchy.

There’s just something about a cat sweatshirt with a popped color.

I’m sorry but who needs a $500 Jenni Kayne sweatsuit when you can have a cat sweatsuit? This legit looks so comfortable and I would 1000% wear this, regularly.

I’m a real sucker for this color, and the sweet, yet haunting visual of a cat and bird staring contest.

Vintage Eddie Bauer, say no more. It’s also available in a medium.

I’ll be honest this is a strong contender for me. The rainbow colors, the New England vibes, the glitter, if this is gone by the time of publishing, you’ll know what I’m wearing for Halloween.

For all my fellow black cat moms out there. Chic.

The level at which this looks like the most perfectly worn in sweatshirt…

It’s watercolor cats, need I say more?

I feel like we need to bring back sweatshirts with a collar?

One word, iconic.

1. This is literally just for fun and not an assumption about the wardrobe choices or aesthetic of any cat ladies (childless or not).