This resonates with me in so many ways. I had enough with social media and am deeply grappling with what it means to be online in a capitalist society hyper fixated on consumption. I came to Substack 6 months ago to share thoughts on books, life and plant-based eating. I’d love to dig deeper into some personal things like having an evangelical street preacher father who struggles with addiction and is very likely involved in a cult 😅 but still trying to find the courage to share that part of my story that publicly exposes someone else’s story. I love that you are hear and paving a way for being online with intention but also scratching the itch that led you to blogging to begin with. Also Vermont implant from 2020 too. ☺️
Ooof that’s heavy stuff. I also think you deserve to tell YOUR story but I totally understand the complexity of what that looks like. I remember following you when I was on IG and honestly did not realize you had a newsletter on Substack! Just subscribed and would love to connect IRL since we’re not far from each other in Vermont.
This was a great read and so resonant, maybe especially for millennials who know a world before the online world came to be. I am not an influencer, but I am a writer of novels and I hate, hate, hate, how I feel I have to sell myself along with my book because that is what gets people to read. A social media following is almost, if not more, important than talent and hard work. It's as though nowadays we are brainwashed into thinking we owe everyone insight into our lives in order to matter, when in reality, we can have beautiful, full lives without these constant outward displays of the highlights. At the same time, I do value what certain influencers (yourself included) bring to the table, questioning the industry, unafraid to discuss controversial issues not for clicks, but because they matter. It's a tricky balancing act, I'm sure, and I am curious to see what the next ten years will bring. Will people start to feel drained and jaded and step away from social media or will it grow even more out of control with the dawn of AI? Sorry for the ramble, but I really enjoyed this one!
Yes Malia. Nodding along with everything you’ve said here. I do think much of it is generational (or at least that’s my observation/unscientific finding). The majority of my friends/peers who are millennials are exhausted from social media and the pressure of being so online. It is a regular point of conversation. And for those of us with kids we are having conversations about phones and tech in schools (my daughter is only 4 but these are things I’m already thinking about). Everyone is expected to be online and as you mentioned, to many, a following on social media in many cases gives someone more clout than it should. But living in a place where people really don’t care (for the most part) about your online persona and many businesses literally don’t even have a website (which can be annoying lol, there’s a balance!) has given me such a broader perspective on all of it. I too wonder what the future holds. I see no signs of being extremely online slowing down, but eventually it catches up with you. There’s an entire generation of kids that don’t know any different. I think we all have a breaking point, the question is, then what?
Thanks for the thoughtful reply! The world has changed so profoundly in our lifetimes (or even the past ten years) I think it’s probably healthy for us to question whether much of it is for better or worse. It’s a difficult balancing act and ultimately, I worry more about the younger generations than mine, because I feel I can step away from social media (would like to, in fact), while the younger people hardly know a world without it. Looking forward to your future exploration of this topic!
I’m reading Jia Tolentino w my uni students about how being online is an exhausting “never ending performance” that our brains are not made for, and how it’s also kind of impossible to opt out. This resonates!
I’ll be honest I’ve been lazy about paid subscriptions even for people I like on here, but this post motivated me to be a founding member just to support the effort. I know “influencer” is a loaded term but if you can influence folks to spend less time scrolling and consuming meaningless stuff, I think that is a win for all of us 🫡
I mean THIS: "Honestly it was a lot easier being an influencer in many ways, especially financially. Instead of begging people to subscribe to my $5/month newsletter I could get paid thousands of dollars to do a single post for a brand."
Hi! I’m a fellow mom, always struggling with identity in that, my corporate role and maybe the desire to share my experiences and build a community. I love your focus and have enjoyed following your journey. I think the anti influencer can still be influential. And I totally get why you’ve made the pivot. So curious what life looks like AFTER blogging too. Like there are so many skillsets in content creation but where else / what other type of job would you want? Are most of our jobs actually about consumption and selling something? My perspective is admittedly skewed as I’ve been a marketer for 20 years and struggled with the same question — and yet I love my job and its creativity. I have to make money somehow and this is a lucrative way to do so even if I just sell things at the end of the day. Not too dissimilar from influencing. But at least my company does good in the world as it makes money. At least that’s what I tell myself so I can sleep! Anyways thank you! For your honesty and openness
I cycle through this thought process a lot. I actually *still* have a blog but have re-branded it to a travel blog where I don't feel like I *have* to sell and can still make money through display ads because I have decent traffic. And to your point I also do enjoy aspects of content creation AND writing, so I have been sort of scattering my skillsets doing different things, which I enjoy. I don't know though, I am constantly questioning my life choices, lol.
Your thoughtful writing hits home. Your openness about the journey from blogger to influencer to “writer with impact” (maybe a nice new word instead of influencer) is fresh.
I’ve always liked your writing style., it’s personal and smart.
I first started following you at Prosecco and Plaid and I think that was a simpler time on IG FB sharing your beautiful photos and clever styling of a basic wardrobe. Honestly we all need clothes and facial items, home items but I agree the overconsumption is gross and bad for our planet.
Keep writing here and be yourself, share what you’re doing wearing feeling because there are a lot of us out here who want to ha d s clean Life that is filled with beauty. That may be reworking outfits (altering them or mending them !!)
I teach yoga and love to garden.
I love my Dog.
I’ve always been a fashion gal and like to restyle from my closet and carefully add new items.
Thank you for sharing Jess, I so appreciate your honesty, transparency, and inspiring me to unfollow nearly all of the *influencers* I used to follow on Instagram. Like you I’ve grappled over the overwhelming nature of overconsumption in this world and how I can try not to be part of the problem. I am a new mom to a toddler and was unsure if I even wanted to bring a new person into this environment. I’ve been living in France for my husband’s work for the past few years and am kind of dreading moving back to the US because certain things are just so bad. Happy to have “followed” you since your initial influencing years and that so many of my values seem to align with yours. I look forward to continue reading your content on Substack!
I think there’s such a need for the content you’re writing about, the pendulum needs to swing back the other way from everyone selling things all the time. I am glad you’re here and in my opinion, if you write you’re a writer.
Thank you for the candor, the free post (I’m gonna convert to paid when I get out of the bath 🤪) and the recs- many were new to me. I’m Jen, I have an MA in literature & I said when I was 30 that I would write & publish a book before I turned 40. Well now I am 45 and I have no book, but I do have 3 kids, a dog, a job…and now a Substack! 🧡
Hi! I'm Kait! I live in CT with my son and husband and care about a lot of the things you shared about - a better future for my little loved ones, spending less time on social media. Simultaneously, I want to build a business for my own well-being and to support my little family, which is tough without social media!
I often think about a theory (I forget the name) in regards to "keeping up with the Joneses." It used to be that you'd see your neighbors, their cars, their houses and you were likely all in the same general wealth class. Nowadays, social media breaks those barriers so you see people spending wild amounts of money, consuming so many material goods (creating so much waste), and your brain thinks, "Oh, that's what I have to keep up with," when it's entirely inaccessible to you. Social media is so scary in so many ways.
Agree! I have followed influencers for style recs and have loved their suggestions (items I’ve now had for years and use regularly), but then the constant overload of “New! New! New!” “Need! Need! Need!” And you have to wonder as a consumer, how much are they buying because they truly love, use, and will keep that item and how much of it is just to sell? I’d say it’s likely the latter for many once you get sucked into the cycle.
I have so many thoughts. I completely agree with your sentiments on social media and writing, really the whole thing. I teach a couple of yoga classes a week as a side gig (plus it's fun come on) and have always felt immense pressure to promote myself while also absolutely hating it. I feel like all I need to do is show up to the space and be myself and the rest will follow, but social media requires so much more of yourself. I go through cycles of feeling motivated/inspired to post...and cycles where I don't. I had a website for awhile until I discovered Substack and I use this platform as a way to practice and home in my writing skills. I would love (as would many) to get paid for my writing one day, write a book or three, and have essays published in exciting places. For now, baby steps. Thank you for your work!
I feel like I was reading my own thoughts. 💛 I started a blog back in 2013. It still exists and gets some ad-revenue traffic. I've done social media but it's so exhausting and uninteresting to me. Now I'm here, trying to figure out what's next and why. Thanks for sharing this!
You had me at addressing hyper consumption and the ick of influencing. Instant follow and subscribe. I was on Instagram the other day and for TWENTY SEVEN stories straight it was affiliate links. Twenty seven. I started my tiny account to share what I love about hosting and struggled to put together a shop my because I wear a capsule wardrobe and everything in my house is vintage, thrifted, I made it, or a small artist made it. I’m so proud of that.
As I said in my last note, I am glad people share what they love, but those aren’t the stories I want to hear. I want to hear about the things you love because you love them, not because someone is paying you or you get 10% if I buy it too.
I resonate with a lot of what you said... it feels like a lot of influencer content on most social media is about consumption, and the reason why I'm interested in Substack is that there seem to be more real conversations happening... like there's a different depth that can be hit when you need a long enough attention span to finish an article rather than passively consume a video?
This resonates with me in so many ways. I had enough with social media and am deeply grappling with what it means to be online in a capitalist society hyper fixated on consumption. I came to Substack 6 months ago to share thoughts on books, life and plant-based eating. I’d love to dig deeper into some personal things like having an evangelical street preacher father who struggles with addiction and is very likely involved in a cult 😅 but still trying to find the courage to share that part of my story that publicly exposes someone else’s story. I love that you are hear and paving a way for being online with intention but also scratching the itch that led you to blogging to begin with. Also Vermont implant from 2020 too. ☺️
Ooof that’s heavy stuff. I also think you deserve to tell YOUR story but I totally understand the complexity of what that looks like. I remember following you when I was on IG and honestly did not realize you had a newsletter on Substack! Just subscribed and would love to connect IRL since we’re not far from each other in Vermont.
I would love that too, I love being on Substack, it’s been such a positive space these past few months. I’m glad you’re here too.
This was a great read and so resonant, maybe especially for millennials who know a world before the online world came to be. I am not an influencer, but I am a writer of novels and I hate, hate, hate, how I feel I have to sell myself along with my book because that is what gets people to read. A social media following is almost, if not more, important than talent and hard work. It's as though nowadays we are brainwashed into thinking we owe everyone insight into our lives in order to matter, when in reality, we can have beautiful, full lives without these constant outward displays of the highlights. At the same time, I do value what certain influencers (yourself included) bring to the table, questioning the industry, unafraid to discuss controversial issues not for clicks, but because they matter. It's a tricky balancing act, I'm sure, and I am curious to see what the next ten years will bring. Will people start to feel drained and jaded and step away from social media or will it grow even more out of control with the dawn of AI? Sorry for the ramble, but I really enjoyed this one!
Yes Malia. Nodding along with everything you’ve said here. I do think much of it is generational (or at least that’s my observation/unscientific finding). The majority of my friends/peers who are millennials are exhausted from social media and the pressure of being so online. It is a regular point of conversation. And for those of us with kids we are having conversations about phones and tech in schools (my daughter is only 4 but these are things I’m already thinking about). Everyone is expected to be online and as you mentioned, to many, a following on social media in many cases gives someone more clout than it should. But living in a place where people really don’t care (for the most part) about your online persona and many businesses literally don’t even have a website (which can be annoying lol, there’s a balance!) has given me such a broader perspective on all of it. I too wonder what the future holds. I see no signs of being extremely online slowing down, but eventually it catches up with you. There’s an entire generation of kids that don’t know any different. I think we all have a breaking point, the question is, then what?
Thanks for the thoughtful reply! The world has changed so profoundly in our lifetimes (or even the past ten years) I think it’s probably healthy for us to question whether much of it is for better or worse. It’s a difficult balancing act and ultimately, I worry more about the younger generations than mine, because I feel I can step away from social media (would like to, in fact), while the younger people hardly know a world without it. Looking forward to your future exploration of this topic!
Same!! I’m a writer, not a “content creator” but can you even be an artist and not be a content creator now? Sigh
So frustrating! I think a lot of creatives are inherently introverted and having to sell our persona to draw attention to our work is so inorganic!
I’m reading Jia Tolentino w my uni students about how being online is an exhausting “never ending performance” that our brains are not made for, and how it’s also kind of impossible to opt out. This resonates!
And thx for the mention ❤️
YES
I’ll be honest I’ve been lazy about paid subscriptions even for people I like on here, but this post motivated me to be a founding member just to support the effort. I know “influencer” is a loaded term but if you can influence folks to spend less time scrolling and consuming meaningless stuff, I think that is a win for all of us 🫡
Thank you so much Jennifer! That means so much 🙏🏻
I mean THIS: "Honestly it was a lot easier being an influencer in many ways, especially financially. Instead of begging people to subscribe to my $5/month newsletter I could get paid thousands of dollars to do a single post for a brand."
And thank you so much for the shout-out Jess!
Hi! I’m a fellow mom, always struggling with identity in that, my corporate role and maybe the desire to share my experiences and build a community. I love your focus and have enjoyed following your journey. I think the anti influencer can still be influential. And I totally get why you’ve made the pivot. So curious what life looks like AFTER blogging too. Like there are so many skillsets in content creation but where else / what other type of job would you want? Are most of our jobs actually about consumption and selling something? My perspective is admittedly skewed as I’ve been a marketer for 20 years and struggled with the same question — and yet I love my job and its creativity. I have to make money somehow and this is a lucrative way to do so even if I just sell things at the end of the day. Not too dissimilar from influencing. But at least my company does good in the world as it makes money. At least that’s what I tell myself so I can sleep! Anyways thank you! For your honesty and openness
I cycle through this thought process a lot. I actually *still* have a blog but have re-branded it to a travel blog where I don't feel like I *have* to sell and can still make money through display ads because I have decent traffic. And to your point I also do enjoy aspects of content creation AND writing, so I have been sort of scattering my skillsets doing different things, which I enjoy. I don't know though, I am constantly questioning my life choices, lol.
Your thoughtful writing hits home. Your openness about the journey from blogger to influencer to “writer with impact” (maybe a nice new word instead of influencer) is fresh.
I’ve always liked your writing style., it’s personal and smart.
I first started following you at Prosecco and Plaid and I think that was a simpler time on IG FB sharing your beautiful photos and clever styling of a basic wardrobe. Honestly we all need clothes and facial items, home items but I agree the overconsumption is gross and bad for our planet.
Keep writing here and be yourself, share what you’re doing wearing feeling because there are a lot of us out here who want to ha d s clean Life that is filled with beauty. That may be reworking outfits (altering them or mending them !!)
I teach yoga and love to garden.
I love my Dog.
I’ve always been a fashion gal and like to restyle from my closet and carefully add new items.
Prosecco also still a favorite ☺️
Thank you so much Susannah. I so appreciate you being here, especially since the P&P days, feels like a lifetime ago! Ha.
Thank you for sharing Jess, I so appreciate your honesty, transparency, and inspiring me to unfollow nearly all of the *influencers* I used to follow on Instagram. Like you I’ve grappled over the overwhelming nature of overconsumption in this world and how I can try not to be part of the problem. I am a new mom to a toddler and was unsure if I even wanted to bring a new person into this environment. I’ve been living in France for my husband’s work for the past few years and am kind of dreading moving back to the US because certain things are just so bad. Happy to have “followed” you since your initial influencing years and that so many of my values seem to align with yours. I look forward to continue reading your content on Substack!
Thank you Michelle, so appreciate you being here.
I think there’s such a need for the content you’re writing about, the pendulum needs to swing back the other way from everyone selling things all the time. I am glad you’re here and in my opinion, if you write you’re a writer.
Thank you Dacy! Appreciate you.
Thank you for the candor, the free post (I’m gonna convert to paid when I get out of the bath 🤪) and the recs- many were new to me. I’m Jen, I have an MA in literature & I said when I was 30 that I would write & publish a book before I turned 40. Well now I am 45 and I have no book, but I do have 3 kids, a dog, a job…and now a Substack! 🧡
Thank you Jen. It's never too late to write that book!
Hi! I'm Kait! I live in CT with my son and husband and care about a lot of the things you shared about - a better future for my little loved ones, spending less time on social media. Simultaneously, I want to build a business for my own well-being and to support my little family, which is tough without social media!
I often think about a theory (I forget the name) in regards to "keeping up with the Joneses." It used to be that you'd see your neighbors, their cars, their houses and you were likely all in the same general wealth class. Nowadays, social media breaks those barriers so you see people spending wild amounts of money, consuming so many material goods (creating so much waste), and your brain thinks, "Oh, that's what I have to keep up with," when it's entirely inaccessible to you. Social media is so scary in so many ways.
Here for all the women doing cool shit!!
Hi Kait. Yes it’s so true re: social media. And the inundation of relentless consumerism is just too much. There has to be a better way…
Agree! I have followed influencers for style recs and have loved their suggestions (items I’ve now had for years and use regularly), but then the constant overload of “New! New! New!” “Need! Need! Need!” And you have to wonder as a consumer, how much are they buying because they truly love, use, and will keep that item and how much of it is just to sell? I’d say it’s likely the latter for many once you get sucked into the cycle.
I have so many thoughts. I completely agree with your sentiments on social media and writing, really the whole thing. I teach a couple of yoga classes a week as a side gig (plus it's fun come on) and have always felt immense pressure to promote myself while also absolutely hating it. I feel like all I need to do is show up to the space and be myself and the rest will follow, but social media requires so much more of yourself. I go through cycles of feeling motivated/inspired to post...and cycles where I don't. I had a website for awhile until I discovered Substack and I use this platform as a way to practice and home in my writing skills. I would love (as would many) to get paid for my writing one day, write a book or three, and have essays published in exciting places. For now, baby steps. Thank you for your work!
I feel like I was reading my own thoughts. 💛 I started a blog back in 2013. It still exists and gets some ad-revenue traffic. I've done social media but it's so exhausting and uninteresting to me. Now I'm here, trying to figure out what's next and why. Thanks for sharing this!
You had me at addressing hyper consumption and the ick of influencing. Instant follow and subscribe. I was on Instagram the other day and for TWENTY SEVEN stories straight it was affiliate links. Twenty seven. I started my tiny account to share what I love about hosting and struggled to put together a shop my because I wear a capsule wardrobe and everything in my house is vintage, thrifted, I made it, or a small artist made it. I’m so proud of that.
As I said in my last note, I am glad people share what they love, but those aren’t the stories I want to hear. I want to hear about the things you love because you love them, not because someone is paying you or you get 10% if I buy it too.
I resonate with a lot of what you said... it feels like a lot of influencer content on most social media is about consumption, and the reason why I'm interested in Substack is that there seem to be more real conversations happening... like there's a different depth that can be hit when you need a long enough attention span to finish an article rather than passively consume a video?